Medium size life

I was at dinner last week with work colleagues. Among the five a the table, many of us had acquired the same educational qualifications and had almost equal number of work experience under our belt. But I was the only one who had broken away from full-time corporate employment to pursue the uncertainty of the consultant lifestyle. "So how busy are you? How much work are you able to get?" asked the new acquaintance. "My target is to work 5 days a month", I replied. I almost burst out laughing at the open-mouthed expression that followed. "Wow. That sounds really great", he said. "And I try to take a vacation every quarter." I could not resist adding, just to see how far the astonishment level would go.

I suspected that they thought I was a little crazy to be doing this - not getting the full benefits of my elite foreign education. I know that I could make more money and have a fancy designation with overseas travel and five-star hotel dinners thrown in for good measure. But how then can I take a week off to visit my sick father without seeking permission from my boss? How can I take music lessons on weekday afternoons? How can I be home when Aparna returns from school at 3 p.m, the only time when she is chatty enough for me to know what is going on in her teenage school life? How can I accompany a neighbor to the doctor mid-week?

When asked to visualize a successful life, most people imagine a lavish lifestyle, not just a comfortable one - a life which includes expensive homes, cars, gadgets and every luxurious item available in the market. A dream life equals a king size life. One where you can buy anything that is on sale. Enabling such a life demands unnecessary pursuit of material wealth, unhealthy competition, unnatural levels of stress and premature aging. But the all-pervasive subliminal messages imply that anyone lagging behind is a loser. Getting off the rat race is a sure sign of failure.

Personally I made a conscious choice to get off the beaten path. It has not been easy to create this kind of flexibility in my work life which enables me to actually have a life. It is my work that enables my life, don't get me wrong. I live a comfortable life. But it is not a king-size life. It is a medium-size life. I live in a medium size apartment with a reasonable home loan. I drive a reasonably new car but one that allows me to be free from dependence on public transport or finicky drivers. I make less money. I try to put more life into my years. I want to have some reserves of time and energy with me when a chance to explore new avenues for personal development come my way. I want to be available when someone seeks my advice or wants my physical support. I don't want to let the moments speed by when I am immersed in getting through excruciating work pressure.

People talk of working hard till an arbitrary year in the future at which time they will actively pursue the life they always wanted. Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans, said John Lennon. I don't know how long I will live. And as I look at my frail father, a shell of his old self at age 80, I wonder if I will be able to live an exciting life later. Better to live a full life now. And to do that, I needed to create time. So I try to work less, live more. If that makes me a loser in the eyes of the corporate types, so be it.