Peeling an orange

"You know how I know that you love me?" asked Aparna one morning last week as she was getting ready for school. "Because you peel the orange before putting it in my lunch box", she answered, without waiting for my response.

I was taken aback by her observation. I do peel the orange for her. But I also expect her to put her clothes into the laundry basket instead of leaving it on the floor. I ask her what she wants to eat for dinner. I also ask her help me make it.I take her out to watch a movie but I also get her to make her bed. It is the orange peeling that catches her attention. That shows her my love for her. Wow!

When we love someone, we do things that they may not have asked us to do. We go that extra mile without even thinking about it. We don't expect each action to be scrutinized and weighed. We do it freely, unthinkingly, without any expectation. The gestures speak louder than words. There is nothing forced about the tender actions. Of course, we argue and complain and bicker. But all of this is done on the foundation of a strong connection. It is not just the parent-child relationship which is like this.

When love is reciprocated, the two people involved are not perfect but there is nothing that needs to be changed. There is no time like the present to enjoy each moment together. There is no need to convince the other, the feeling is mutual. It is a feeling that needs to be heeded, nurtured and valued. So often we fall into the trap of wanting to fix things in order for it to fit in tidily with our mental picture. But many things in life are beautiful even if not perfect. The beauty of flowers lies in their variety with slight imperfections and mutations. No amount of man-made, 6-sigma techniques of mass production can produce a memorable sunset or a Mona Lisa.

So let us observe the moments when we see the expression of love in simple actions. And be sure to say it aloud. And be grateful to have it in our life. How wonderful to be acknowledged!