Sisterhood

We sat in the garden in the warm afternoon sunshine. A group of seven women, some meeting each other for the first time, others having been friends for decades, classmates or neighbors. As each one entered, introductions were made and we settled into an easy banter. Surprisingly, there were no questions of "What do you do?" or even "how do you know each other?" We sipped a cold drink and watched the butterflies flirt around the flowers. The sun hid under a cloud. And then one woman started singing, a haunting romantic melody. Another joined in. A third filled in the words when the others hesitated. All of us traveled into another mood, the singers and listeners alike. There was laughter at lunch. The paan-making session included freshly-cut paan from the backyard filled with all the ingredients and professionally assembled to resemble the store-made variety. More songs filled the air. It was a heavenly afternoon spent at ease in the house of a relative stranger, amidst friends, in an atmosphere that I can only describe as "sisterhood".

There was a time when I lamented the fact that I did not have a sister. God had kindly sent me two wonderful brothers to start me off in my journey of life where many lessons were learnt and social skills practiced within the safe confines of home. I enjoyed all my interactions with my siblings, the intellectual sparring, the rough-housing and the constant teasing that is common when children are closely-spaced. But I missed having a sister to giggle with. Perhaps an older one would have enlightened me about puberty, boys, co-ed college life. Or a younger one would have shared nail-polish and swapped stories of her first crush. I wondered if we would share clothes or bicker endlessly or have constant comparison contests. I hoped we would grow up to be close and share womanly tales and family times, as only sisters can. But I would never know. I was the only girl sandwiched between boisterous brothers.

Only recently did I realize that you do not need a biological sister to experience sisterhood. I have been generously blessed with girlfriends (or is it women-friends?) who have been like sisters to me. What else do I call the bond I share with a colleague who took me in when I had no place to live? The Moms who share carpool duty as the kids get ferried across town? The young mother of a toddler who is the same size as my teenage daughter and kindly lent her clothes for a one-off formal event? The elderly aunty who checks in every hour to make sure Aparna is OK when I ask her to keep an eye if I am out of the house while Aparna stays home? The Chinese colleague at my previous job with whom I shared the painful stories of my infertility so that she could deal with hers? My American colleague who helped me find dependable daycare for 3-month old Aparna more than a decade ago in sunny California, the one who still keeps tabs on Aparna on Facebook? The one whose daughter actually uses Aparna's outgrown clothes because they fit and the child hates shopping? The many women who have helped maintain my household while I work? The ones who enabled me to get on the path of spirituality?

There is so much we share - work, words, woes, wonder. There are so many shared memories as we all move together on our respective journeys, stopping to appreciate the moments that intersect. A hug, a pat, a helping hand. A kiss, a compliment, a little gift. A ride, a smile, an inspiring story. This is what sisterhood is about. Sharing, giving, receiving but above all being there. It may not be the same sister who sees you through your entire life, but there is always one to get you across. When in doubt look around. You will find a sister, willing to share your story. And if you don't; call me.