Farewell dear Father

My father passed away last month. He is at peace now, having suffered with a series of health problems in the last year of his life. Not major illnesses but small problems that reduced his mobility, prevented him from doing the things he wanted. He liked going out, meeting people, managing his paperwork, handing out chocolates to kids, watching cricket on TV. Small pleasures at the end of a meaningful life. A life spent taking responsibility for siblings, parents and children.

My father was the first guy in my life. The man who accompanied me to the school bus stop for years when I was afraid to go alone after being chased by an angry cow at age 9. He took me to colleges in torrential Mumbai monsoons to submit my application forms. When I won a scholarship for my college education, an amount equal to the tuition fees, he opened a bank account for me to keep my prize money, "It is my job to pay for your education. This scholarship is won by you, you can keep the money for yourself. Learn to use it wisely", he said. He did not indulge my every whim but gave pocket money from an early age to teach us the value of managing within a budget.He took us on family holidays to Kanyakumari,Darjeeling,Srinagar and other exotic places in spite of financial limitations. He ensured that his sisters completed college degrees before getting married.

After mother's death, four years ago, he took on the role of mother and father. Of course, it was not the role of a caregiver to little tots but being a friend, mentor and guide to grownup kids that he saw in a different light. He observed our strengths and weaknesses. He gave advice, instructions and orders. He listened. He spent time with us, something that he could not do much in the early years. He gave us an opportunity to "serve parents' a philosophy that he whole-heartedly subscribed to since he had served his parents as a dutiful son. We indulged his requests (for samosas and rasgollas), did what we could (temple visits) and argued when we could not fulfill his demands. He sorted out his finances and assets in such a manner that there are no administrative hassles left for us to deal with.

I miss him. I still feel his protective presence sometimes. But the loss of both parents marks a big milestone in life, a sudden promotion of sorts. The place that parents occupy in our lives is irreplaceable. While my brothers and I stand united, trying to be there for each other, we acutely feel the void. The tree under whose shade we grew up, the tree that helped us to take off with our newly developed wings, is no more. Thank you, dear parents for giving us life, good grounding and the strength to fly. There is no way we can repay you, except by providing the same roots and wings to the next generation. What else can we do? We are the new elders now.