Nurturing

My bedroom window overlooks the mango tree in my backyard. Through the foliage I can see the red brick-colored tiles in my neighbor’s yard and hear the buzz of their air-conditioner. The window ledge is wide and is now the nesting place of a mommy cat. Sometime last week when I was enveloped in the haze of hospital visits and household responsibilities, the green-eyed cat has given birth. There are two golden brown kittens and a gold-speckled black one that nurse frequently and occasionally call faintly for their mother. They lie in a huddle sometimes, paw each other while trying to nurse and are small enough to still have their eyes closed. They are growing every day. Now they have fur on their legs, tiny spindles that were still pink last week. The mom is protective when she is around, her arm around one and tail around the other two as she holds them close to her body, spreading the warmth on these rainy days. I worry about the fact that the window ledge that she has chosen is on the first floor – a safe choice away from predators but certainly the elevation is a concern once the kitties start exploring. Where does she find food for herself? How does a feline mother feel while hunting for food, leaving behind the little ones? How does she prepare them to fend for themselves? So many questions.

The subject of nurturing is on my mind these days. Tending to young ones and old parents simultaneously is demanding. On top of that, I need to find the time to nurture my fledgling business. I wish there were more hours in a day but I mostly wish I had access to a fount of energy that I can tap into as needed. On many days I skip my morning yoga because the list of things to do is coming out of my ears as soon as I wake up. Invariably I find myself in a mid-day slump. Sometimes I have to nap (power nap, of course) or take a break. Just as the mind needs a change, the body needs a break. On the days that I squeeze in at least a few suryanamaskars, I find myself doing much better. I am able to handle the planned and unplanned activities without missing a step. Giving myself the gift of an hour first thing in the morning makes me a more giving person all day.

I know that I need to nurture myself in order to pass it on to others who may need it from me. But prioritizing self-nurturing needs practice. I need to move myself to the top of my list. Let me do that now.