Letting go

The theme of the week seems to be "letting go".

I am preparing to move into my own new apartment, probably in a week. It is an exciting (and expensive) time when I get to pick curtains, colors, cooking stove, fans, lights and paints. I am shuttling between my current and soon to be location, talking to movers, painters and carpenters. My trips to the ATM have reached a record number of visits for the first 10 days of the month. I am taking all this in my stride. But hardest of all is the task ahead of me - to consolidate my belongings to fit into my new abode.

I don't consider myself a pack rat - quite often I purge my closets and files and ruthlessly discard unwanted stuff. But all "stuff" is not equal and some are harder to throw away than others. I have shredded old phone and credit card bills, given away multiple bags of old clothes, plastic boxes and bottles from the kitchen, even an outgrown bicycle. I stop to read articles from old magazines or linger over a beloved toy that has seen better days. I see not only what is in front of me but the sentiment that made me hang on to this possession. It is heart-wrenching to drop it into the waste basket.

I am letting go on other fronts as well.

Aparna left for a trip to Delhi with her school team to participate in a national level competition organized by her school (one of the large academic school franchises). This opportunity came her way after being on the winning team in the regionals. This is her first trip out of town without a parent. She seemed thrilled and a little apprehensive, more about the competition that the journey itself. I dropped her at 6.30 a.m. at Secunderabad station and said goodbye along with the other Moms. We entrusted our precious kids to the cheerful teacher who had the task of bringing them back safely. I just got news that they are returning back with the runner-up trophy. I am so proud - not just about Aparna's achievement, but my own growth as a Mom as I loosen the strings bit by bit, and allow my child to soar.

The little kittens on my window sill are also being let go, for a few hours a day, by the Mommy cat. I notice that the kitties are now able to stand. The Mom is away for longer periods now. The kittens nestle cozily, their eyes tightly shut, as they try to keep warm on these rainy nights. Slowly they will start exploring their neighborhood, stepping out of their comfort zone, unaided and unwatched by the mother.

The territory may be different but we are all dancing to the same endless rhythm of the circle of life.