Imaginary boundaries

I had the pleasure of watching a little boy this evening. He spent an hour at my home while his mother attended a meeting. Like other six-year olds, Aditya loves cars. We spent most of our time inspecting the interior and exterior of my car. He studied the general condition of the car. He wanted to know where all the buttons were, if the power locks were functional, if the lights were working. He peered into the trunk and looked thoughtfully at the tires. “Even though it is such an old car, it doesn’t look like it – it has no dents or chips.” If my car was a woman, she would have been so flattered, after all she was 6 years old and I think car age is similar to dog age, which makes her about 42!

I was impressed with his thoroughness and totally charmed by the pleasure this activity brought to him. How delightful it is to witness joy on the face of a child – untainted, pure and simple. I confessed to him that I did not know how to operate the windshield wiper in order to make the cleaning fluid appear. So he showed me. He wondered loudly how I could drive a car but not know this! But it made him feel important.

As we circled the car (after locking and unlocking it with the remote lock for the tenth time), he noticed the irregular whitish stain on the rear door. Of course he was curious about its origin. It was the remnant of the sticker put there by some zealous political party prior to the elections. The boy who cleans my car told me that it was not easy to remove. I believed him, assuming that the glue was not soluble in water and probably made of cheap, tacky stuff. But Aditya would not have any of it. “Why didn’t you try to remove it”, he demanded. So I hesitantly put my nail to the white patch and scrubbed it. Lo and behold, the residue came apart and there was just fine dust lightly coating the surface. I put a wet cloth to the spot and the beautiful sky blue paint glowed just like the rest of my car.

It was a moment that refreshed a lesson that we all know. Many times, we feel there are barriers in our lives that are too tall to scale – be it public shame, private doubts, family responsibilities. So we live the safe life; prescribed and predictable. Maintain the status quo so it does not rock the boat. At some point we forget the reason for doing so. And justify our action (or lack thereof) by pointing to others – my husband won’t like it, my in-laws will disapprove, my children will not allow me, my parents said it will not work and many more. But if there is something that you want or when someone pushes you hard or the status quo is not very comfortable, you try to climb those self-built walls. With the power of your intention and clarity of thought, the barrier is just smoke, it falls apart in a powdery whiff, much like the “unremovable stain” on my car – I believed what someone told me, without even checking to form my own opinion. I had also avoided driving my car for several years fearing the chaotic traffic conditions in Hyderabad. But once I decided that it was essential for me to independently move around (and put my car to good use), it was simple to figure out the unspoken rules of the road. All my past driving experience came to my assistance and I was mobile!

I guess what I am trying to say is that the boundaries you assume, are imaginary ones. The only way to demolish them is to take the first step.