Ray of hope

I visited my friend who was in Hyderabad at her parents’ home this weekend. Her sister has taken the bold step of adopting a baby girl, as a single parent. Bringing up a child requires a village (also the title of a book written by Hilary Clinton) and this little girl is indeed showered with love and attention of doting aunts, uncles and not to forget, devoted grandparents. The room was full of toys and gifts that others had brought for the child’s first birthday the month before. As with any toddler, the baby crawled around fearlessly, merrily claiming the praise of family members and visitors. I was happy to see this child in a loving environment and look forward to watching her grow into a productive citizen and a loving human being one day.

As I drove back home, I passed a prominent restaurant in my neighborhood decorated with balloons and bearing a prominent sign “Laasya’s first birthday party” along with a large print of the little girl. Cars were lining up already. Around the corner is the neighborhood community hall used for religious ceremonies as well as social events. Amidst colorful streamers, another large sign informed me of “Mahi’s first birthday party” with a grinning baby girl’s picture on it. I have been disheartened so often to see girls being treated unfairly when it came to opportunities, the treatment arising solely from a bias towards their gender. But finding these proclamations of celebrations, announcing the completion of the first critical year of their daughter’s life, is a welcome sign.

Sugar n spice and everything nice – girls are special, as are boys. While we give kids our unconditional love, we unknowingly pass on ingrained prejudices as well. Gender definitions and roles, prescribed behaviors, preferred choices – these are unspoken forms of communication that kids pick up on, based on our own actions as we tread the beaten path of societal norms.

Seeing public celebration of a female’s child’s birth is the first step as we move to equally rejoicing in new life, irrespective of gender. But that is just the beginning. What we need to do individually as parents and collectively in society, is not just provide a chance for girls to explore their potential in the early years but enable them to achieve their full potential as they grow into mature adults. Becoming aware of the restraints that society unknowingly puts on them puts a major burden on their shoulders as they try to come to terms with the freedoms of younger days with the recipe of future life that is presented to them. I know of educated parents of a son and daughter, both of whom have been educated in private engineering colleges. While the son is free to pursue either higher education or an international job, the daughter is expected to marry the “chosen” guy shortly after she graduates. Her future depends on her future husband.

As all these thoughts crossed my mind, I realized that I was unknowingly voicing the prejudices I had felt growing up. Things are different now, at least for the little ones, who are enjoy much more access to material comforts and choices as they grow. I only hope that they will continue to have as many choices in their adulthood and the maturity to choose wisely.
Happy Birthday, Girls!