Work-life balance

The first time I heard the phrase “work-life balance” was during the first year of my job. My boss was on the committee that had been asked to figure out ways to improve work-life balance of employees. This was more than a decade ago and in California (both seem really far right now). While I did not appreciate the significance of the term then, I certainly became an ardent seeker of balance once my daughter was born. Juggling between work and home and doing justice to both roles was really tiring. It seemed to be always on the brink, under the influence of a whole host of factors, variables and equations which threatened to not just control me but completely take over my sanity.

So I tried to logically find a solution. I read about work-life balance, I talked to other women in the same situation; I attended seminars on this topic and generally attempted to put together a balance strategy. At a seminar, one woman expressed the view that striving for balance was not the right approach. Trying to cut down on the things you do, in order to feel less stressed was what most people did. But instead, one should find things to do that bring more meaning to your life. For me, in those days, time was the most precious commodity (followed closely by energy), so her statement didn’t make sense. How could I possibly find time to do even one more thing? There were times when I felt like quitting everything!

The years have passed and even now there are things I need to do and things I want to do, but only so much time. But when I look back on the intervening years, I realized that I did find time to fit in at least one thing I wanted to do, amidst all the other hectic activities. Somehow, I was able to rearrange priorities or assemble a support group to enable me to pursue it. And those are the things that I am proud of having done, those that stand out in memory, apart from all the minutiae.

Recently I came across a book “Find your strongest life” by Marcus Buckingham where I came across a similar sentiment. The author argues that women should look into their life and relive those moments that reinforce your strongest tendencies; instead of balance, he says, reach for fullness. I think I understand the concept now. The word balance implies a sense of equilibrium, but also conveys stillness, stagnation. One needs to move to feel alive, so move in the direction of what makes you feel good. And that may mean, adding one more item to your to-do list.

So take a look at what you love doing and put it on top of your list.